I got sick yesterday...like I have to leave work sick...like if I don't leave work right now I am going to throw up here sick. I drove myself home and went straight to bed. It lasted about 24 hours...I couldn't eat, my body was aching, and sleep and rest was the only thing that would bring relief. Sometimes I feel that God does this in my life to tell me to slow down and rest (if only I could get the message another way), but I seem to learn things the hard way.
I am a runner (or at least I have tried to make myself one). I love to run in the gym, treadmill, on the road. After I work out I am still running...just in life. You know Runner's High? I get the same thing by just accomplishing things throughout the day. Slowing down is something that is very difficult to do...there are so many things to do in a day...good things...work, working out, reading, spending time with people, taking care of my family, reaching out to others, errands, etc. Things I must do and things I choose to do...and most of the time I am in the moment and enjoy the many things I do...it's just that I think I am doing too much...scratch that-I am doing too much.
Slowing down in life is so relative...if I am driving 100mph and slow down to 75mph is that slow?
So there you have it. Just trying to figure out what "slowing down" means in my life. I know that spiritual analogy made to running the race...not to run aimlessly, that I should run as one to win the prize, to sun a good race, that I should do it with perseverance for the race marked out for me...perhaps there lies the problem. That I am confusing the race of life with the race of LIFE that is found in dwelling in His presence rather than just high fiving Him as I pass through the day.
I feel like I am stopping to smell the roses, I guess it's just am I really taking a deep breath? Today I took Charlotte to the pond to feed the ducks. The weather was cool, the sun was setting, she was babbling, her hair was shining, and I wished I had a different lens on my camera...but it was wonderful and I thought this is the LIFE. No where to be, nothing to do, but just enjoy the moment, all that God has given me and entrusted to me. I loved it and wished it could last longer...
So am I the only one who had a hard time with this? Now that I've written so much I don't even know what IT is...just know that I think I am doing IT wrong.
Any wisdom is welcomed.
4 comments:
;)
the Lord is giving you wisdom and insight into what is best. remember mary and martha...always a great story to meditate on. simplicity. you've always wanted that, admired it, looked for it. and now the Lord is helping you to figure out how its done.
a favorite verse of mine is "let the peace of Christ rule in your heart"... for the past couple of years, my prayer has been that His peace would rule in my heart, and in all of my life. at home, with my children, with brad...in every area. peace. but i have learned that peace and simplicity is costly. it requires surrenderings many things. many good things. to make room for what is best.
love you. wish we could have played at the pond with you two today. let's get together soon!
angie
I so know what you mean Aina. This embarking on motherhood thing is such a rollercoaster ride. So many ups and downs. I am struggling with just being and not constantly going and doing. I want purpose and meaning ... intentional living. Sometimes I feel so compelled into business and yet the Spirit beckons "Be still and know" ... so much harder than it ever was before ....
hey, aina! so, this is totally shallow and has no spiritual worth whatsoever, but your post made me think of our scandia days when we took that 7 am running class! remember? running back and forth across the bridge, around and around the arena...those were the days. at least on the days we made it to class. wish we were nearby so we could go for a run together!
i am learning a lot about intentional living as well. it definitely doesn't come naturally to me...probably not to any of us. time passes so quickly, especially with a little one in the picture. may we treasure the precious moments and not stress over the silly ones! praying for you...
aina. i love this post and i love your honesty. if we could all just be this honest with each other, don't you think we would learn so much more!
i often feel the same way. it is hard enough finding time for daily tasks that require our attention...the ones we have no choice but to do. Then throw in kids. the hardest part is kids make you want to do it right even more, while still making it more challenging. The Lord is gracious and our help. I am so glad because it sometimes seems impossible :)
Traci
Post a Comment