The Journey to Now.

God willing, I am 5 weeks away from delivering twin boys. That date is May 27th. I will be 37 weeks along at that point, which is considered full term for twins. I am praying that they each weigh at least 5 lbs. Reflecting on God's goodness to us, I couldn't help but recall His faithfulness through this journey.

Timeline:

May 2009- October 2010- Waiting & asking the Lord to add to our family. At times a daily battle to trust God's will and timing.

Here's something I wrote in the time of waiting.

October 1st- Took a pregnancy test- it was positive. I wept with thankfulness and disbelief.

October 8th - Spotting. I thought I was having a miscarriage. Went to the doctor's by myself (Caleb stayed home with Charlotte). He wanted to do a sonogram & discovered 2 babies. My doctor cautioned me that it was still very early. Spotting continued. My stomach was in knots.

We told our families and our inner circle to pray.

Reminded by some dear friends, that God has answered our prayer- I was pregnant. Rejoice in that. But it was up to God to decide what to do with what He had given. Trust Him.

November 3rd - Elder-Led Prayer. Our pastors & friends prayed over me for the babies. I felt our burden getting lighter.

December 12th - Went to a specialist. Everything was developing normally, and found out that God was giving us 2 fraternal boys. By this time, spotting had stopped.

February 25th- Bed rest recommended by my doctor. So hard to do because I truly felt so good!

March 5th- The talented Miranda George took maternity pics in California. You can see them on her blog.

March 26th - Twin Baby Shower! An amazing outpouring of love and a true time of worship for all that the Lord had given. I've never cried so many happy tears in my life.

April 21st- Grateful to be 32 weeks pregnant. Bed rest almost unavoidable.

What God showed me:

- I am wretched.

I am so prone to focus on myself: my needs, my plan, my comfort. It's exhausting and suffocating. Also, I am easily swayed by my circumstances which will be constantly changing. God gently showed me that Life is not found there. Life is found in pursuing Christ and in His sufficiency.

Colossians 3:1

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God."

- He is enough.

Whether God answered my prayer or not. He is good and able to meet all of my needs.

Genesis 18:14

"Is anything too hard for the Lord?"

Psalm 119:67-68

"Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. You are good and do good. Teach me Your statutes."

- I can't do life alone and was never meant to...

Ashamed, sometimes I tried. It's hard to let people know that you are hurting. Friends labored in prayer for us and took on our burdens. You spoke Truth over me, cried with me, checked in on me. How can I ever repay this?

Proverbs 17:17

"A friend loves at all times..."

- His ways and timing are perfect.

I remember crying month after month of not being pregnant. In God's perfect timing Charlotte will be over 3 years old when her brothers are born. She will be my little helper something much more difficult to attain at the ripe age of 2. She is my big girl and my time with just her has been a sweet gift.

Lindey, one of my dearest friends, is 3 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy. Such a gift to go through this together! We could be possibly delivering on the same date.

My sister & her family will be making a trip back to the states about 2 weeks after the boys are born and get to spend the summer with us.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that for those who love God ALL things work for the good for those who are called according to His purpose."